My wife just told me that my blog has become a real downer with all of the layoff talk. So let’s take care of that right now….
A bunch of us decided to go out for lunch today and were having the “most embarrassing thing you ever did at work” discussion. There were some pretty funny stories but judging by the laughter I was the biggest moron at the table.
My story:
I was fresh out of college and a few hours into my first real job. I had drastically over dressed by wearing a suit and tie to the shop and was regretting the pot of coffee I drank that morning. After enduring hours of insurance forms, orientation and facility tours I had one thing on my mind; my old friend John who happens to be made of porcelain.
I snuck away to the factory floor where I saw a men’s room a few hours before. I went in and was immediately standing in front of a trough. I wasn’t too surprised to see this relic of the rest room as the facility was easily over 100 years old.
Anybody who has ever used a trough knows that it isn’t the most comfy of places to empty your bladder. Stage fright can set in quickly so “speed” is the name of the game. The room was empty and I got to work right away.
Not long after I started some one walked in. I realized that he was looking at me kind of funny as he walked by. I just figured he was a weirdo who happened to like the troth dynamic. But he kept on walking to the previously unnoticed row of urinals.
I looked in front of me and there it was; a soap dispenser. That’s when it hit me
I was making a terrible mistake!!!
Yep. It was my 1st day, I was wearing a suit, and I was peeing in the sink.
I immediately dug down deep into my inner self and found the will to stop mid-stream (never an easy task). I then zipped up, got squirt of soap and I stepped on the water lever to rinse off my hands and flush at the same time. I ran out and never used the trough again.
There it is. My most embarrassing work moment. Happy Memorial Day Weekend!!!
Friday, May 28, 2010
My personal oil spill has finally been obstructed
The other night I was watching the experts on the funbox (tv) discuss the various ways they would stop the spewing oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. As I listened to the experts (that no oil company feels compelled to hire) compete for “smartest man in the room” honors I realized that this is a friggin’ difficult situation. You’re trying to perform a very delicate procedure 50,000 feet beyond your physical reach while the environmentally concerned world is breathing down your neck.
As I took it all in it made me wonder, “What in the world could be harder than that?”. Then it hit me. This is what I’ve been doing for the last 18 months.
Stay with me here…
“perform a very difficult procedure” = Design and manufacture a machine that turns hydrogen and air into electricity.
“50,000 feet beyond your physical reach” = Instruct someone on the phone in India through that insanely complex procedure from your desk in New York.
“while the environmentally concerned world is breathing down your neck” = “while the environmentally/economically concerned investor is breathing down your neck”
Get it? I’ve been doing the mechanical engineering version of the deep-water jimmy-hat for the last year and half. The only difference being no ocean life is in danger, much less $$$ is being wasted and Geraldo Rivera doesn’t seem to give a crap.
Well, the cool part of my story is that we were able to cap our oil leak by finally delivering the design. The ironic twist is the moment we finished our product delivery Sales and Marketing came to the realization that they can’t sell it. So our entire program has been canceled.
Oh well, sometimes you have to work your butt off to find out that the world just wasn’t ready for something so cool. Plus that hard work always makes you smarter, stronger and more prepared for the next big challenge.
We know we kicked a$$ on this project and will gladly move on to the next challenge; Motive Power Fuel Cells.
As I took it all in it made me wonder, “What in the world could be harder than that?”. Then it hit me. This is what I’ve been doing for the last 18 months.
Stay with me here…
“perform a very difficult procedure” = Design and manufacture a machine that turns hydrogen and air into electricity.
“50,000 feet beyond your physical reach” = Instruct someone on the phone in India through that insanely complex procedure from your desk in New York.
“while the environmentally concerned world is breathing down your neck” = “while the environmentally/economically concerned investor is breathing down your neck”
Get it? I’ve been doing the mechanical engineering version of the deep-water jimmy-hat for the last year and half. The only difference being no ocean life is in danger, much less $$$ is being wasted and Geraldo Rivera doesn’t seem to give a crap.
Well, the cool part of my story is that we were able to cap our oil leak by finally delivering the design. The ironic twist is the moment we finished our product delivery Sales and Marketing came to the realization that they can’t sell it. So our entire program has been canceled.
Oh well, sometimes you have to work your butt off to find out that the world just wasn’t ready for something so cool. Plus that hard work always makes you smarter, stronger and more prepared for the next big challenge.
We know we kicked a$$ on this project and will gladly move on to the next challenge; Motive Power Fuel Cells.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
A rough one today
The good thing (for those of us left) is that our company will be very focused for the foreseeable future. Plug has become crippled over the last few years by depending too much on international collaboration and by trying to develop too many different products. It may work for us some day, but it clearly wasn’t working right now.
The immediate solution:
As a result of the above mentioned problems Plug will be consolidating all employees to one location (Latham, NY), and we will be focused on one product (material handling power systems).
I have to admit that I’m starting to get excited about the new adventures as the initial shock and sadness wears off.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
"Pro/E doesn't work"
So I’m sitting at my desk a little while ago and I get a phone call from one of our engineers who only uses Pro/E when he wants to pick on someone’s else’s work. Let’s call him “Oprah” to protect his identity. I answer the phone and the following conversation unfolds…
Larry: “Hello, Larry Pitts.”
Oprah: “Hey Man, it’s Oprah. Pro/E doesn’t work.”
Larry: “Ohhh (suppressing a million sarcastic replies) Ummm, can you be more specific?"
Oprah: “Yeah, I click on the Icon, enter my name and password, and it tells me I can’t get in.”
Larry: “Ok, when is the last time you turned your computer off and back on?” (always the 1st question any CAD admin should ask)
Oprah: “When I got here.”
Larry: “Ok, I’ll be right over.”
So I go and sit down at Oprah’s desk and take a look. I immediately notice that the taskbar looks like the blades of a radiator because there are so many programs open. I turn to Oprah and say, “I thought your computer was restarted just this morning. How did you get all of these programs open?”
Oprah looks at me very seriously and says, “I didn’t say that. I meant I turned it on when I started working here in January.”
the end
Larry: “Hello, Larry Pitts.”
Oprah: “Hey Man, it’s Oprah. Pro/E doesn’t work.”
Larry: “Ohhh (suppressing a million sarcastic replies) Ummm, can you be more specific?"
Oprah: “Yeah, I click on the Icon, enter my name and password, and it tells me I can’t get in.”
Larry: “Ok, when is the last time you turned your computer off and back on?” (always the 1st question any CAD admin should ask)
Oprah: “When I got here.”
Larry: “Ok, I’ll be right over.”
So I go and sit down at Oprah’s desk and take a look. I immediately notice that the taskbar looks like the blades of a radiator because there are so many programs open. I turn to Oprah and say, “I thought your computer was restarted just this morning. How did you get all of these programs open?”
Oprah looks at me very seriously and says, “I didn’t say that. I meant I turned it on when I started working here in January.”
the end
Check out the voCADulary
Those of you that are familiar with the old badDesign.us website probably remember the voCADulary list. It was by far my favorite part of running that website. Especially because I received so many great words from everyone.
So I'm happy to say the list is back. I just added it to the badCAD blog [click here]. Be sure to comment or send me any new ones.
So I'm happy to say the list is back. I just added it to the badCAD blog [click here]. Be sure to comment or send me any new ones.
Getting Ready for PTC/User World Event 2010
Well, I'm getting ready to attend the big PTC/User conference in Orlando in a little more than a week. Last year's shindig was great, and I’m expecting this year’s will be even better.
One thing that really surprised me last year was the overall quality and attendance considering that the economy was in such shambles. I had expected a dialed-back version from previous years, but that was not the case. From the moment I arrived at the Shingle Creek Hotel I realized that it would be much more comfortable than the previous year in Long Beach CA. The Rosen Shingle Creek is one amazing place and the staff is great. Having been involved behind the scenes I can honestly say that they are top-notch.
So you should be getting very excited if you are fortunate enough to attending this year’s event.
One thing that really surprised me last year was the overall quality and attendance considering that the economy was in such shambles. I had expected a dialed-back version from previous years, but that was not the case. From the moment I arrived at the Shingle Creek Hotel I realized that it would be much more comfortable than the previous year in Long Beach CA. The Rosen Shingle Creek is one amazing place and the staff is great. Having been involved behind the scenes I can honestly say that they are top-notch.
So you should be getting very excited if you are fortunate enough to attending this year’s event.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Welcome to badCAD
Hi. My name is Larry Pitts. Some of you might remember me from my website www.BadDesign.us, while others may have endured one of my PTC-User presentations. How ever you ended up here, I hope you enjoy your visit.
If you’ve ever met me you know that I like to have fun (especially when I am not supposed to). Whether it’s sitting in a design review, traffic court or church I have a hard time being serious. Just like that kid in the Sixth Sense saw “dead people”, I see “funny people”.
One thing I have learned is that this black and white world of hard physics and pocket protectors can be very funny if you look at it from a different angle. Call it what you will; engineering satire, design follies, or just plain nerd humor, this amusement may be the one thing that gets you through another day of monotonous meetings and tolerance stack-ups.
On the other hand, if this stuff isn't funny to you you’re probably the butt of more office jokes than you realize.
Either way, I hope you enjoy my weird ramblings on the wacky world of design.
If you’ve ever met me you know that I like to have fun (especially when I am not supposed to). Whether it’s sitting in a design review, traffic court or church I have a hard time being serious. Just like that kid in the Sixth Sense saw “dead people”, I see “funny people”.
One thing I have learned is that this black and white world of hard physics and pocket protectors can be very funny if you look at it from a different angle. Call it what you will; engineering satire, design follies, or just plain nerd humor, this amusement may be the one thing that gets you through another day of monotonous meetings and tolerance stack-ups.
On the other hand, if this stuff isn't funny to you you’re probably the butt of more office jokes than you realize.
Either way, I hope you enjoy my weird ramblings on the wacky world of design.
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